I Sort Of Hate The Word Fiance

Antonis Achilleos / TheKnot.com

Antonis Achilleos

How do you introduce your soon-to-be-spouse? Fiancé is the obvious choice. The definition, according to Merriam-Webster, refers to someone soon to be married. (If you’re interested, fiancé refers to a man who’s about to be married, and fiancée to a woman who is soon-to-be wed. Who knew?)

But to me, no matter how you spell it, it seems like such a strange word…and I sort of hate it. I’m not the only one — Seinfeld’s Elaine addressed it in the episode The Stranded.

Like the woman in the clip, I don’t speak French. Every time I say this particular word I feel like I should be wearing a beret and possibly eating a croissant while doing so. It also seems odd to lead an introduction with such personal information (engagement, wedding planning, etc.).

The problem is, when I introduce my soon-to-be-husband as my boyfriend, it doesn’t seem to represent the gravitas of the situation we find ourselves in. The worst part is when I introduce him as such, people who know “the truth” take it upon themselves to helpfully say “you mean your fiancé!!” Clearly, I am privy to this information and for whatever reason chose not to broadcast it. I am tempted to reply “Wait, what….? I’m engaged? That’s so cool — and certainly explains this diamond ring I seem to be wearing. Thanks!” Sometimes, I try to avoid both terms and go with a simple “This is [my guy’s first name].” It’s factual, if not utterly romantic.

Since we’re getting married in a shorter amount of time (hopefully within six months), I’m viewing this awkward attribution issue as something to be weathered, like the flu…or adolescence. There’s an end in sight — one where I’ll use the traditional, English, easy-to- say “husband.” But definitely not “hubby”.

Jeannie Savage planned this wedding
And The Knot Dream Wedding Planner Is...
Scheana Shay's wedding
'Vanderpump Rules' Star Scheana Marie's Planner Gave Us t...
bella collina florida wedding venue | KT MERRY PHOTOGRAPHY | The Knot blog
5 of the Greatest Places to Get Married in the US
wedding-websites-promo
Read How Real Couples Met (From Their Wedding Websit...
Mikie Russo from FYI's Mikie Saves the Date
Event Planner Michael Russo Planned His Own Wedding While...
Chic Elopement Style | Blog.TheKnot.com
Elope In Style With These Chic Ideas
  • Kelsey
    02/06/14 at 06:35

    My soon to be husband has taken to refering to me as his “gunna be wife.” Talk about romantic.

  • 02/06/14 at 07:39

    Gunna be wife/ Gunna be husband actually has a cute little sound to it. Much better than fiancé.

  • Melissa
    02/06/14 at 07:45

    I couldnt agree more! I always cringe a little when calling him my fiance! I just feel haughty using that word. Ugh! Well in 4 months we will be married and I have no problem calling him my Husband ;)

  • DeAnna
    02/06/14 at 08:12

    I couldn’t wait to get engaged just so I could say FIANCE! But now that I am it seems so weird to say it. & I used to be one of those people who would say to people “You mean fiance!” I happen to still love the word (I love the french language) but it is so weird in conversation!

  • Haleigh
    02/06/14 at 08:12

    I loved calling my husband “fiance” before we were married. I just always looked forward to using the word. Same with husband. And especially with him. :)

  • Clotilde
    02/06/14 at 10:11

    I don’t really get your statement and have the awkward feeling that you might be a little bit “frencophobe”

  • Jana
    02/11/14 at 09:06

    I agree! I don’t like the word fiancé. I feel like a snob when I use it, like I’m trying to throw it in their face or that I am being pretentious. I wish there was another word for soon to be wed.

  • Dana
    03/09/14 at 09:59

    After the initial getting used to it period, I don’t mind the word fiancé. It’s kind of second nature after our year engagement. But then again I also intend to call him my hubby. It’s quicker. :)

  • Laura
    03/23/14 at 09:58

    I have the same problem – we have been engaged for 12 months and I still hesitate when talking about my ‘husband to be’. I go from partner to fiance… back to partner. Looking forward to being able to say husband in 5 weeks… 5 days (not that Im counting!)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Escort cards are extremely easy to personalize and an excellent way to bring in your wedding day colors -- from calligraphed seating cards set atop a textured linen to apples tagged with each guest's name or small personalized bundles of lavender tied off with string. Other ways to display escort cards: Pin them to a clothesline, post them on a board covered in color-coordinated ribbon, or incorporate them into your cocktail hour using personalized stirrers tagged with guests' names.
see more
  • Follow

    Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

    Join 1,067 other followers

    %d bloggers like this: