7 Ways To Get Him To Propose

Ultimatums are scary. Ultimatums can backfire. There are some scenarios, of course, where the guy really is dragging his feet and needs a little extra nudge. Let’s assume that’s the case here. So how do you get him to propose?

1. Don’t Frequently Talk About Your Dream Wedding

Unless your boyfriend is Franck from Father of the Bride, don’t show him photos of ice sculptures, wedding dresses, flowers and wedding cakes. He probably likes the idea of marrying you, but the specific tactics of a wedding can seem overwhelming.

2. Give the Runner A Signal

There are loads of possible reasons why a guy hasn’t proposed, and fear of rejection is one of them. Eliminate this fear. Give the runner a signal that it’s okay to round the bases — you can do this with innuendo subtler than “I expect you on one knee by midnight of December 31.”

3. Let Him Know What Kind of Ring You Want

For 99 percent of men, the idea of ring shopping is perplexing and terrifying. We know that it’s supposed to be expensive and diamond-y, and that’s about it. What kind of shape, setting and style do you want? You can say something like, “My friend Julie just got engaged — her ring is gorgeous. It’s just perfect; it has yada yada yada…” He’ll see through your little ruse, but so what? (You just gave the runner a signal.)

4. Withhold Sex Until He Gives You A Ring (Just Kidding!)

4Shutterstock

Shutterstock/Thinkstock

This is more of a “what not to do.” If you find yourself nodding in agreement to this suggestion — “yes, yes, a little leverage” — there’s not much we can do to help.

5. Have Your Parents Confront Him (Please Don’t Really Do This)

5Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Your dad can ask, “What are your intentions with my daughter?” and this should put him at ease. (Can you sense the sarcasm?)

6. Be Comfortable With A Proposal in 2014, Not 2013

You’ll spend the next 50+ years together (or if you’re Kim Kardashian, the next 50+ days). Think Big Picture: Does it really matter if you get engaged in December or June?

Of course, if he’s been playing Hamlet (to wed or not to wed…) for five years and you’re at the end of your rope, and you know in your gut that IT’S TIME, DAMMIT, there’s really only one strategy you need…

7. Have An Honest Conversation

This is probably the most important tip: No games, no trickery. Without framing it as an ultimatum, talk about how you both envision your future together. Where is this going? When is this going? Try not to nail down a specific, concrete date — this saps the proposal of spontaneity and romance — but you can have the conversation in broad strokes.

And if that fails, you can always withhold sex.

Jeff Wilser

Want More? Of Course You Do

7 ways not to announce your engagement

> How to drop hints to get the ring you want

> 9 signs he’s about to propose

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  • Wendy
    11/18/13 at 12:36

    This blog post wasn’t very good because the title was mislead. It was suppose to be 7 ways to get him to propose but it was really 4 ways to get him to propose, 2 things not to do, and one piece of advice about waiting. Think about the title and blog and how it goes together next time.

  • Wendy
    11/18/13 at 12:36

    *misleading.

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Escort cards are extremely easy to personalize and an excellent way to bring in your wedding day colors -- from calligraphed seating cards set atop a textured linen to apples tagged with each guest's name or small personalized bundles of lavender tied off with string. Other ways to display escort cards: Pin them to a clothesline, post them on a board covered in color-coordinated ribbon, or incorporate them into your cocktail hour using personalized stirrers tagged with guests' names.
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