Bride Sends Crazy Rules Email To Her Bridesmaids

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Full disclosure, this email was published on Gawker this morning and reads more like a joke than a real letter. The email from a bride outlines ten rules for her bridesmaids to follow before the wedding, two of which include not getting skinnier than the bride and weekly weigh-ins. In follow-up emails (see them here on Gawker) the bride even puts a bridesmaid on probation for not following the rules and getting a hair cut.

Read here…

“Welcome to my bridal party. I thought today would be a great day to start this chain, as it is officially six months until my wedding day.

I just wanted to go over some ground rules.

1. Weigh-ins will begin in 3 weeks. I for one would really like some time after Thanksgiving to make my body forget about what it consumed, so I thought I would give you guys some cushion room.

2. No-one can be skinnier than the bride. That means Kelly and Lizzie will be on a protein weight gainer diet exclusively until May. I will have the nutritionist call you to discuss diet plans.

3. Bed times leading up to the wedding will be strictly enforced. I absolutely cannot have you all have saggy, baggy eyes. I am sure you all understand.

4. Swimwear attire: I would like everyone to wear matching bikinis that have rhinestones on the tushie spelling out “maids,” which brings me to my next point.

5. All bikinis leading up to the wedding must be strapless bandeaus. I cannot have terrible tan lines in strapless dresses.

6. Sunscreen: We need to make sure you ladies look lovely and radiant and not red and reptile like. Pack accordingly.

7. Speeches: We all know what happened at Taylor’s wedding. So if you plan to make a toast, please submit it for approval and revision, no later than 4 weeks prior to the wedding.

8. Hair cuts: If you plan on chopping off your locks, please submit your proposed new look prior to any actions (this applies to coloring as well).

9. Attendance: is strongly requested at all events but I will make some exceptions on a case by case basis.

10. Ink: Consider this a moratorium on future tattoos until June 5th. Those of you with visible artwork will be privately contacted with (temporary) removal instructions.

Thank you for your time and consideration. Should everyone abide by these minor requests, I am sure we will all have a memorable weekend.

Just kidding bitches, well, sorta. love you all,

[The Bride]”

But whether it’s real or just a salacious headline, it does bring up a good question…. When it comes to giving your bridesmaids direction on your wedding day, just how far is too far?

Want more? Right here!

> 11 ways to make your bridesmaids happy

> 9 things your bridesmaids want you to know

> Setting expectations for your bridesmaids

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  • Audrey L.
    09/23/13 at 03:19

    Some of these rules have made my eyes rolls ( the #2 anyone?).

    However, I think it’s more sensible to have everything crystal clear now. I prefer being told in advance about the ”tan lines ban” than dealing with a meltdown bridezilla the day of.

    A year or so after the wedding, it’s it would be so funny to send back those to the bride ”See how mental you were!…Bikinis that have rhinestones on the tushie spelling out ”maid”…We wanted to give you written ”mad” :-)”

  • TTT6262
    10/01/13 at 06:47

    I think these kinds of “rules” are totally shallow and overbearing. If any of my friends made demands like these before their wedding, I’d leave the wedding party and call them out for being a dictator b***h. Frankly, I’m still my own person, and nobody has the right to tell me what my body (including hair length and tan lines) needs to look like…if the bride had any issue with my appearance, then they could find somebody else that fit their ideal mold to take my place.

  • Alex
    10/02/13 at 09:51

    And with that, I would no longer reasonably be able to stay friends…

  • babyforrest
    10/09/13 at 08:09

    I had a life-long friendship ruined over a wedding because I was sick. Here’s the story and crazy Facebook letters if anyone’s interested.

    http://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1ny9bc/can_anyone_tell_me_what_i_did_wrong/

  • DEONTA
    12/04/13 at 08:30

    WELL MINES WAS WORST ITS YOUR WEDDING & WHAT U WANT OR HAVE A GHETTO UNORGANIZED WEDDING

    BRIDESMAID ATTIRE & RULES

    No Color Hair
    Everybody Hair Must Be Black
    (No Exceptions)
    You Do Not Pick Your Hair Style
    Brides Choice
    No Long Nails With Designs & Rhinestones
    French Nails
    No Designs, No Stones
    At Reception No Barefoot or Gem Shoes
    Flats Or
    Everybody Have Same House Shoes
    You Do not pick your own
    Dress, Shoes, Accessories
    YOU GET PREGNANT YOU OUT LOL
    You Do Not do your own Make-up
    Bride Book Make-up Artist
    Brides Choice Of look
    Don’t attend or Participate with Bachelorette Party/Bridal Shower
    You’re out
    Even If Its 1 day before wedding,
    LATE TO EVERY MEETING/EVENT your OUT
    Attendance: is strongly requested at all events but I will make some exceptions on a case by case basis
    Tattoos Everywhere
    Visible artwork will be covered
    Do Not Regain/Gain Weight
    You will have to lose that weight before
    (Deadline)Or be Removed
    No Fighting, Arguing, Being Ghetto
    Only By the Bride-To-Be

  • Ashlee
    04/03/14 at 12:12

    I love this just sent it to my bridesmaids and groomsmen just in case lol

  • Sanity
    01/29/15 at 03:21

    Anyone who would continue to be a part of this wedding after this, needs their head examined!

  • jackie
    02/05/15 at 06:35

    Fuck dat bullshit,av bein a bridesmaid twice now & believe me I’d av a prod with all o them ultimations,ain’t no friend if she does dat to u,perfection or no perfection people r people,ad my best friend try to do dat to other bridesmaids and ad to pull her on it,not happening!!!

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Escort cards are extremely easy to personalize and an excellent way to bring in your wedding day colors -- from calligraphed seating cards set atop a textured linen to apples tagged with each guest's name or small personalized bundles of lavender tied off with string. Other ways to display escort cards: Pin them to a clothesline, post them on a board covered in color-coordinated ribbon, or incorporate them into your cocktail hour using personalized stirrers tagged with guests' names.
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