Finding An Officiant (A Groom With A View)

Ceremony & Vows
Ceremony & Vows

Lost amidst the search for: a venue, a band, a photographer, et al, was a search for someone to perform our wedding ceremony. Evin and I are Jewish, but not members of any specific temple. We (like many of our Jewish friends) find a local Temple that we would sneak into for the serious Jewish holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Near the end of the service we would slip some money into an envelope to both support that temple and to assuage our guilt at not being full-time members. So without an affiliation, we needed to look for someone.

Evin had a rabbi she remembers fondly from her youth in Brooklyn Heights. Even though Evin moved away in her teens, this particular rabbi’s services and sermons were significant to her and to her mother especially. We did find this rabbi who is now all these years later some sort of Rock Star in Judaism. President of This or That, Chairman of This/That/or The Other Thing. We feared he didn’t marry people anymore. And this was confirmed when a close friend (in a total coincidence) knew him well and asked on our behalf. Truth be told, he was a long shot and I’m glad we never got our hopes up. But this turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

Evin and I had for the last few years been attending a local Brooklyn temple. This temple had the congregation we liked: young and progressive and with a warm and inviting feeling to it. We attended a few High Holy Days services and always felt comfortable there.

“What about that rabbi?” said Evin.

After having to ask me a few times (although she will say it was way more) I emailed the Rabbi and inquired. Five minutes later he responded, ten minutes after that we were on the phone. I liked him immediately. And I knew Evin would trust me doing this, so I arranged a meeting for all three of us.

When we met, the rabbi explained how him performing our wedding might happen. There would be five official meetings. The first was a “get to know you.” The second was a more “intimate look at our relationship.” The third would be a “look at the role that Judaism plays in our lives.” A fourth would be “planning the ceremony.” And the fifth (the week of the wedding) would be a “check in meeting” to see how things were going.

We are so happy to have found someone we like. We are so happy he is available the date we are getting married. And we really look forward to getting to know him and him getting to know us.

Near the end of that first meeting the rabbi asked us how we met. And as Evin and I usually do when we are asked this question, we laughed. The story of how we met is really how I came to meet her. I wrote about it online in several prominent places. But a short film I wrote (which Evin did the lighting for) was made about how we came together. This is that short film.

More From Groom With A View

> The Crappy Old Stuff

> The Honeymoon Period Of Our Engagement

> A Guy’s Guide To Getting Engaged