Heard Of The Anti-Wedding Invite? (#Yikes)

YouareNOTinvited_promo2

The burning etiquette question on our Wedding Etiquette message board┬áright now: How do you tell someone they’re not invited to your wedding?

The short answer? You don’t — unless it comes up.

We get it. It’s not that easy. You’re hanging out after work on Friday with a group of friends and you realize that two of the five of them aren’t on your guest list. Even worse, one of your invited friends starts talking about your wedding in front of the group. And that’s when the options start running through your head. You think, should I…

A) Invite them right then and there (even if it means going over budget or worse, risking your guests won’t fit in your reception space)?

B) Avoid the conversation at all costs and ignore any mention of the wedding?

C) Put down your cocktail and run out the door?

The truth is that if you feel awkward about telling your non-invited friend she’s not on the list, then she does too. In other words, leave it alone. Change the subject and move on. Think of it as a good excuse to take a break from wedding talk anyway. It doesn’t have to be awkward or uncomfortable.

If in the (rare) occurrence, a non-invited friend asks you point blank whether they’re invited to your wedding, then tell them the truth (be it because of budget or space constraints).

But whatever you do, don’t put it in writing!

Want to weigh in? Join the conversation on our Etiquette board.

Plus: On this edition of The Knot LIVE, editors Jamie and Jen discuss this very same topic.

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  • 03/12/13 at 01:21

    My get out clause was to say that I only had a budget for X amount of people and Y amount of names. So I put them in a hat and pulled at random until the limit was reached. That appeared to satisfy people, even if it wasn’t true.

  • 03/13/13 at 01:18

    […] Not Invited? TheKnot.com is approaching a tough topic, how do you tell someone they aren’t invited to your wedding? […]

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Escort cards are extremely easy to personalize and an excellent way to bring in your wedding day colors -- from calligraphed seating cards set atop a textured linen to apples tagged with each guest's name or small personalized bundles of lavender tied off with string. Other ways to display escort cards: Pin them to a clothesline, post them on a board covered in color-coordinated ribbon, or incorporate them into your cocktail hour using personalized stirrers tagged with guests' names.
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