We Threw A Wedding And A Hockey Game Broke Out (A Groom With A View)

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Our next stop on the “Evin and Robert Search For A Wedding Venue Traveling All-Star Show” was a popular Sports and Entertainment Complex located on the far West Side of Manhattan. They were rated “Four Forks” or “Nine Veils” or some such award from some some such events web site so we put them on the list. Plus, they had validated parking which for those of you who live outside of NYC and take parking, and specifically validated parking for granted — this was a huge plus even for just a visit.

This place didn’t scream “wedding” at all. What it did scream was “driving range,” “batting cages,” “bowling,” and “summer camp.” We parked the car (did I mention how great validated parking is?) and took the actual walk our guests would take for the reception itself. It was past a hockey rink where a game was in progress.

The catering manager was really nice, the room was plenty big enough, there was a really beautiful river view. But there was also a: “Your Kid Just Won The Pee Wee Basketball Tournament Have Another Chicken Finger” feel to it all. It just wasn’t right and we both knew it. We were showed where the cocktail hour would be — a small room off to the side, a holding pen of sorts for the Summer Camp that was in session.

“The bar will be over in that corner. The buffet table will be in that corner. If you have a DJ, he can be over there. Or if you have an iPod you can plug it in over there.”

But neither Evin nor I could concentrate because one entire wall of the room was plexiglass for the hockey rink which had both a game and a fight for the puck in progress.

“Will there be a game going on during our wedding?” Evin asked him.

The banquet manager told us there would be, then pulled a 10 foot tall black curtain which blocked out the view of the rink. The whooshing sound that was ice skate blade-to-ice we could still hear.

I really wanted to be respectful and not make jokes. This was not easy for me.

“I just hope your grandmother doesn’t get beaned with a puck. Hey, does she play? She doesn’t really move all that fast. She could be the goalie. Maybe we should get uniforms made.  That would be so cool, they could be…”

Evin grabbed my hand and pulled me away.

We thanked the banquet guy and left with the requisite file folder o’ information. We then walked past the skeeball field around the corner from the driving range and found our car. Parking validation ticket in hand (I mentioned the validated parking, right?) we drove away in silence. And not the “that was awesome we are speechless” silence. But the “this sucks how many places do we have to see before we find what we want” silence.

And in what had been a first for me in the nearly three and none half years we’d been together — I said nothing. Not a joke, not a sarcastic comment, nothing.

And then out of the blue, Evin just started laughing. I thought it might be a trick, a way to lure me into a false sense of security. But it wasn’t. So I joined her. There was nothing particularly wrong with that venue, just nothing particularly right about it for us. We had one more place to visit. This next venue might not have been right but it couldn’t possibly have been funnier.