The Honeymoon Period of Our Engagement (A Groom With A View)


A few days after we’d told everyone we were engaged, we learned we hadn’t actually told everyone we were engaged. One of Evin’s cousins and two of my oldest friends found out via Facebook which left us scrambling. Ugh! This transgression necessitated several crow-eating phone calls, a lot of apologies, and a wee bit of lying.

They were insulted. People hate us! Yay! We’re getting married!

In less acrimonious news, Evin adored her ring and wanted to wear it everywhere except at work where the nature of her job made doing so difficult. But almost anywhere we went: to drop off our laundry,  a quick trip for take-out, even late one night to the bodega to get ice cream — front door locked, halfway down the stairs — Evin would say, “I want to go back and get the ring.”

“For the 300 foot walk to the corner?” I asked her.

“The Bodega Guy doesn’t care we’re engaged.”

But Evin did.

And I loved that she loved to show it off.

And I learned quickly how an engagement ring would elicit wildly enthusiastic responses from her female friends. Running errands around our neighborhood, we’d inevitably run into someone she had worked with, they’d notice the ring, scream, and I’d be prompted on cue to tell the comical proposal story. The sun was shining everyday; it was perpetually 76 degrees, with not a cloud in sight.  This was the Honeymoon Period of Our Engagement.  And it was overflowing with good times, laughing and with wedding plans far, far off in the distance.  Or so I thought.

Every 1.473 days, and with no provocation whatsoever, Evin would just look at me and ask: “so, no DJ?”


“No DJ at the wedding.  We want a band, right?” 

The wedding plans were making a cameo appearance in our everyday lives.  It was bound to happen.  With engagements come wedding plans and with wedding plans come — well, I guess we’re going to find out.  And when Evin would say something remotely wedding plan-nerly — I’d take her hand, pull her to close to me, whisper in her ear that I loved her and how happy I was that we were getting married, and kiss her. And talk of wedding plans would be postponed for yet another day. But I knew I was only buying time.

At some point, someone would ask innocently, have you set a date yet?