The Honeymoon Period of Our Engagement (A Groom With A View)


A few days after we’d told everyone we were engaged, we learned we hadn’t actually told everyone we were engaged. One of Evin’s cousins and two of my oldest friends found out via Facebook which left us scrambling. Ugh! This transgression necessitated several crow-eating phone calls, a lot of apologies, and a wee bit of lying.

They were insulted. People hate us! Yay! We’re getting married!

In less acrimonious news, Evin adored her ring and wanted to wear it everywhere except at work where the nature of her job made doing so difficult. But almost anywhere we went: to drop off our laundry,  a quick trip for take-out, even late one night to the bodega to get ice cream — front door locked, halfway down the stairs — Evin would say, “I want to go back and get the ring.”

“For the 300 foot walk to the corner?” I asked her.

“The Bodega Guy doesn’t care we’re engaged.”

But Evin did.

And I loved that she loved to show it off.

And I learned quickly how an engagement ring would elicit wildly enthusiastic responses from her female friends. Running errands around our neighborhood, we’d inevitably run into someone she had worked with, they’d notice the ring, scream, and I’d be prompted on cue to tell the comical proposal story. The sun was shining everyday; it was perpetually 76 degrees, with not a cloud in sight.  This was the Honeymoon Period of Our Engagement.  And it was overflowing with good times, laughing and with wedding plans far, far off in the distance.  Or so I thought.

Every 1.473 days, and with no provocation whatsoever, Evin would just look at me and ask: “so, no DJ?”


“No DJ at the wedding.  We want a band, right?” 

The wedding plans were making a cameo appearance in our everyday lives.  It was bound to happen.  With engagements come wedding plans and with wedding plans come — well, I guess we’re going to find out.  And when Evin would say something remotely wedding plan-nerly — I’d take her hand, pull her to close to me, whisper in her ear that I loved her and how happy I was that we were getting married, and kiss her. And talk of wedding plans would be postponed for yet another day. But I knew I was only buying time.

At some point, someone would ask innocently, have you set a date yet?

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  • 08/14/12 at 09:32

    I love that she wanted to wear the ring to the bodega. This makes me incredibly happy.

  • F.J. Pratt
    08/14/12 at 09:47

    Great stuff! I can so relate to what Mr. Schwartz is going through. Enjoy this time. It’s the stuff of stories that will be told and re-told (in your advancing married life years) that will bring smiles to both of your faces.

  • Michael Hearle
    08/14/12 at 09:51

    Classic! I love how Evin’s not believing the ring was even real transformed so quickly into it being “THE MOST IMPORTANT OBJECT, EVER.” That Robert has seemingly turned in to such a cunning groom/boxer, bobbing and weaving his way out of tight corners and miscellaneous bits of trouble is delightful to read about. Let the games begin, and keep writing about it Robert!

  • Alan
    08/14/12 at 10:17

    Loving this….thanks Robert. More please.

  • BD
    08/14/12 at 10:29

    I hope Robert is able to put off talk of a date for a little while at least. That way my husband and I can relish far more of what has so far been only a couple of posts. Posts which have made us grin and chuckle as we nod or heads together at the kinds of things that (I think) most of us can relate to and enjoy reading about. A great start.

  • hjc
    08/15/12 at 01:59

    The questions never stop! Have you set a date? Have you picked a venue? Do you have a photographer? What are your colors? Have you seen the dress? Just remember to enjoy eachother, everyone else is just background noise!

  • AlexBogota
    08/15/12 at 05:57

    excellent story…. please continue. Very funny :)

  • Trudie
    08/15/12 at 07:51

    Hey, have you set a date yet?

  • Molly the cat
    08/16/12 at 03:03

    HIlarious! great to hear the perspective from the Grooms side! wish I had these 16 years ago when I was engaged!! keep giving us more insights!

  • David
    08/19/12 at 05:32

    76 degrees always…..So you’re saying the honeymoon period is like living in L.A.? Funny how no guys ever pressure to buy a ring, set a date, whatever. Even in this modern era where women like Evin are working (and happy to be so), ring-gushing is deep-seated.

  • 08/20/12 at 05:06

    u know what, we just set the date, start venue search, book vendors, etc. my dad wanna change it one month earlier because of his work, so we did; and now mom wanna change it AGAIN. I am just so frustrated about the whole wedding planning. =(

  • 02/20/13 at 11:01

    […] > The Honeymoon Period of Our Engagement (A Groom With A View) […]

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Escort cards are extremely easy to personalize and an excellent way to bring in your wedding day colors -- from calligraphed seating cards set atop a textured linen to apples tagged with each guest's name or small personalized bundles of lavender tied off with string. Other ways to display escort cards: Pin them to a clothesline, post them on a board covered in color-coordinated ribbon, or incorporate them into your cocktail hour using personalized stirrers tagged with guests' names.
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