The Polite New Way to “Register” for Cash:


We hear it all the time: To-be-weds often wonder if it’s okay to ask their guests for money instead of traditional wedding gifts. (Problem is, it can feel rude to say “Please write us a check.”) New registry website is trying to make that conversation a little easier — brides and grooms can start a wishlist through the site, asking for guests to chip in on a house down payment, romantic dinners, or whatever else they may want. After the wedding, couples can close their registry and cash in their chunk of change.

We get it — because so many couples live together (and go shopping at Bed Bath and Beyond together) long before they get the chance to register for luxurious towels, sometimes a little cash to spend as you please can seem more valuable than a second blender. But make sure your guests know that they’ll be charged an additional service fee (4.5 percent) along with their gift.

What do you think? Do you prefer cash over wedding gifts? Would you use to make it happen?

> You can also register for charity donations. Read about couples who did

> Then, find out how to register for charity

> Are you sure you have everything you need? Double check with our comprehensive registry checklist

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  • C
    07/20/12 at 11:56

    I am in that dilemma right now. My fiance and I have lived together for 3 years and don’t need a lot of the traditional stuff. We would have rather have help towards our honeymoon, or money towards a house. We are not asking people to buy these things for us in any way, just to spend therir money towards something we can actually use! So is it tacky or rude, I don’t know but I think I’m willing to try it

  • Melissa
    07/20/12 at 12:25

    I am in my mid forties and getting married for the first time. I don’t need a lot of household items and we have a very small budget. We are actually going to use a registry with our photographer. People will “buy” a picture or album or frame. The money goes into an account that we can use toward our bill. We could also use cash toward repairs and remodeling. I think these types of registries are much more practical and meet needs for the future as well.

  • thediaryofsugarandspice
    07/20/12 at 12:40

    Perfect!! We live in Germany although we are getting in the US. Definitely can’t bring all the lovely presents home with us without paying a fortune so this is much better!

  • Joanna
    07/20/12 at 12:52

    Asking for cash is TACKY, no matter how nicely you do it. Your guest are should not be expected to foot the bill for your wedding. No matter how “times” change, there are still some etiquette rules that should never be broken. Just don’t register anywhere, people will get the hint and give you money.

  • Courtney
    07/20/12 at 02:02

    My fianc√© and I are taking a similar approach, Joanna. We really would like money towards our honeymoon but instead of “asking” for cash, we’re only registering for a few quirky things (like luggage and camping gear and a few household odds and ends) and then our parents will put the hint out there that we’re really trying to have a fantastic honeymoon. And really, if we get a second blender, chances are we can take it back and at least get store credit. We’re going to register at Target so we can get groceries with a credit if we have to go that route. :) It’s not tacky to WANT cash, you just have to sugar coat how you get it!

  • Michelle
    07/20/12 at 02:37

    Gross. My husband and I lived in Italy (and still live overseas!) and we did a small registry, but everyone gave us cash. No one needed to be asked in this disgusting and INCREDIBLY misleading manner! Someone buys you a dinner, and instead you cash in the cost (minus 4.5%?!) and do whatever you want with it.

    As for the down payment for a house: In this age, where so many people are struggling to hold onto homes, or have lost homes, how does that make your guests feel??

    No matter how you say it, sugarcoat it or dress it up– TACKY is TACKY.

  • 07/20/12 at 04:42

    The idea of gifts for a wedding is generally a sticky situation, you really shouldn’t be asking on your invitation for gifts be it a registry or money. I have found the approach that works for my clients is that if you leave the notion of gifts off of your invitation, people are more likely to ask you if you are registered somewhere; you then take the opportunity to thank them for the thought of purchasing a gift, but you would prefer monetary. People are more receptive to a personal conversation rather than dictating what they will do. Keep registries for your bridal shower and money for your stag and doe (if you choose to have one)

  • Gail
    07/21/12 at 03:50

    Agree with Michelle. This is tacky. No one is required to give you a wedding gift (hence why it is rude to but registry information anywhere on the invitation). If you don’t need or want physical gifts, just don’t register (and remember to turn down any bridal showers) and people will get the hint and give you cash that you can use however you want. The only one that loses in this scenario is the vendor that doesn’t make their 4.5% on their tacky product.

  • 07/07/13 at 05:55

    […] are cash wedding registry¬†advocates, and as everything, there are the knockers. Or the nay-sayers. Those who claim that […]

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Escort cards are extremely easy to personalize and an excellent way to bring in your wedding day colors -- from calligraphed seating cards set atop a textured linen to apples tagged with each guest's name or small personalized bundles of lavender tied off with string. Other ways to display escort cards: Pin them to a clothesline, post them on a board covered in color-coordinated ribbon, or incorporate them into your cocktail hour using personalized stirrers tagged with guests' names.
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